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Master the art of listening: An excerpt from “Guidelines” [TPP#40]

Today I’m excited to share with you a sneak preview of my new ebook, Guidelines. Guidelines summarises the main lessons from 30 best-selling self-help books in one place.

In the book, you’re going to learn:

  • The 6 most common tactics to becoming super productive and getting more done (getting these wrong could be a huge waste of time).
  • The 5 most important characteristics of a great leader (leader or not, everyone should learn these).
  • The 5 essential steps to follow when starting a new business (better than spending time and money on the wrong ideas).
  • The 5 steps to creating a healthier body and living longer (regardless of body weight or shape).
  • The 6 guidelines for getting more out of life (because who doesn’t want to happier and healthier?).

Guidelines is the ultimate book summary. Available as a 68-page ebook and 97-minute audio book. Guidelines lists 27 rules (or guidelines) that you should follow to improve your productivity, become a better leader, do better in business, improve your health and succeed in life. Guidelines digests the best points from over 30 best-selling books like The 4-Hour Work Week, The Miracle Morning and The Obstacle is the Way into 27 specific and actionable guidelines.


Guidelines is now available!

LEARN MORE


Today I’d like to share a sample from the audio book. This is a snippet from a section of the book titled: “Life in General”. You can listen to the audio or read the sample below:

Make sure you head on over to iTunes and subscribe to the podcast. You can also subscribe via the RSS feed. Are you enjoying The Productivity Podcast? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below with your thoughts and ideas of things you’d like to hear about!

Chapter 5: Life in General

When I started my website, I decided to blog about productivity because I like the idea of being more effective and efficient in everything that I do. But why is this? Why should anyone care about doing things better or quicker?

The way I see if, when you can be more productive, you have a greater capacity to accomplish your goals and get what you want in life. I view productivity as a vehicle that helps you to become the best version of yourself, so you can realise your full potential and get more out of life.

When people talk about the meaning of life and what you want to get out of life, my answer is pretty simple. Personally, I’d like to enjoy my time on this planet, make great friends, love my family, be healthy and have fun doing things that make me feel fulfilled.

In this chapter, I’d like to discuss some guiding principles to help you live a happier, healthier and more enjoyable life.

22. Listen

Hearing someone talk and actually listening to the words they’re saying are two completely different things. It’s easy to nod along, hear what’s being said and give the impression that you’re listening. To listen means to understand other people’s perspectives and take action. Even if that action is doing nothing, to understand and have respect for other people’s point of view is a skill that more of us need to master.

In his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, author Dale Carnegie talks about listening as one of the fundamental principles to get people to like you:

“If you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener. To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.”

This doesn’t mean approaching someone with a false sense of respect. If you listen while continuing to formulate your own ideas in your head instead of actually responding to the other persons view point, you’re doing things wrong. You actually have to care about the other person and have an appreciation for what they have to say.

Listening and understanding the other persons viewpoint will improve your ability to win that person over and eventually convince them to your way of thinking (assuming you don’t change your opinion after hearing their words). Marcus Aurelius further supports the importance of listening and understanding other people:

“Practice really hearing what people say. Do your best to get inside their minds.”

I like this idea of getting inside the other person’s mind. This means really standing in the other person’s shoes, trying to imagine the world through their eyes and really thinking about how they feel.

Fried and Heinmeier discuss the importance of listening in a business context when it comes to dealing with unhappy employees and customers:

“When people complain, let things simmer for a while. Let them know you’re listening. Show them you’re aware of what they’re saying. Let them know you understand their discontent.”

When you show that you care by listening with intent, you’ll be amazed at the response you can get from other people. Often we have to fight to be heard. We go into an argument with the preconceived idea that the other person isn’t going to listen and we’re going to have to build a case to win the other person over. But when you’re met with someone who listens and respects your opinion, it almost catches us out by surprise and in response, our respect for that other person goes up. Even if we eventually come around to their way of thinking, the fact that they cared enough to listen commands great respect.